SS: Learning to Fear Again

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“I have never in my life, not even in my darkest days as a slave, felt so powerless.  So weak.

I was a fool.  I thought I could overcome the power of the former Emperor, Vitiate.  I had done so with every other Sith I’ve fought-from Zash to Thanaton to Arkous.  I felt that if I could find a way to take his throne, I could find a way for the Empire to change.  Vitiate doesn’t even want the Empire anymore-he said that it had “failed”.  All he wants is to kill…everything.

And on Ziost, he did.

I can’t imagine what it was like on the surface.  I saw the wave of devastation sweep over the entire planet from orbit.  I felt the passing of so many lives all at once through the Force.  And when I returned to the planet after the…event…I saw what was left behind.  Silence.  I’ve never experienced such silence.  I’m told there may still be some monolith creatures there, but I have not seen them.  I couldn’t bear to go looking.

Another betrayal, too-but not by a fellow Sith, but a positioned agent of the Republic right under Minister Beniko’s nose.  She wanted to kill him immediately.  I let him go.  I’m still not sure why.  Maybe because, in the face of Vitiate’s threat, one man’s life meant little.  He wrote to me afterward, saying he was going to free as many slaves as he could on Ziost.  I find myself oddly hoping that he got off planet before the event.  But I doubt it.  I doubt it.

And for the first time, I looked upon a Jedi with pity.  The Sixth Line leader was broken before me, having been cleansed of the influence of Vitiate, but broken.  Lana wanted to user he as an experiment; Theron-and damn him for starting this entire mess-wanted to take her to Tython to heal.  I let them go.  Again, one life weighed against all of this?  And I do not believe we would learn anything of value in the process; Vitiate’s power is of the Dark Side, and I have felt nothing like it in my life.

And Vitiate has become…interested in me.  “Life is more interesting with you in it,” he said.  He’s saving me for last.  He wanted me to know that.  He wanted me to be filled with terror at the thought.  It worked-I am terrified.  Terrified that he’ll succeed.  Terrified that I will fail.

But a Sith draws power from fear.  I was afraid so many times in my life, from my days as a slave to this day.  I am afraid.  But I will take strength from it.  I embrace it.

A Sith kills what she fears.”

-from Sorshan’s Story

It shouldn’t be a shock that I knocked Ziost down so quickly after Yavin in Star Wars: The Old Republic.  The missions are not long or complicated, and it was really just a prelude to what was coming next (although the Knights of the Fallen Empire expansion sure wasn’t what was expected).  It’s a last hurrah for fighting beside the Inquisitor companions, at least until Chapter Nine of the expansion, where some of them can be brought back.  (Of course, none of them are storyline companions; Talos and Xalek return via Alerts, while the other three are missing-although you can get a replacement Dashade….)  I ended the way the character began-with Khem Val at her side.  No disapprovals from Light Side choices here:  Khem’s probably figured that the character isn’t going to change after all this time.  (I know, the real reason is that the devs didn’t program it in.)

I indulged myself on this run through one Ziost, though, doing all the side missions I could find, pre-extinction event.  I netted 20 of the local currency, which combined with all the rest I’ve gained over time will allow me to purchase that mount available at that world’s vendor-it’s just a question of which character will get it.  Still considering.  I might wait until I roll a new character (because if there’s one thing one can be sure of as an altoholic, it’s that there will always be another alt).

That’s going to have to wait, though.  Coming up is the grand finale of my Light vs. Dark run-the expansion missions.  I believe I should be able to wrap things up in time for the release of Knights of the Eternal Throne, which will allow me to concentrate on all of my primary characters again.  Nothing like perfect timing, right?

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